Chapter Seven - Illegitimate Means

The days went by quicker than Jessi could even keep track of, and things were only complicated by Carlos' science. While his explanation of the top secret "Project TestingCheats" was satisfactory, it was all a bit more than the unsavory Jessi could handle in one sitting. Forced reset? Triggering age transition? Could all of that scientific mumbo jumbo save her kids, even in its beta stages? It made her feel dizzy, and tended to preoccupy her mind above all else. One day she walked into the home after painting in the backyard and was startled to find to children that were not her own playing in the living room. It took her a minute to figure out that these were her latest batch of twins. And then she panicked as to why they were both children and not toddlers. Before realizing that they had aged normally and had been children for at least a few weeks.

She needed a good rest after that mishap. Only in dreams could she find peace from the TestingSims enigma.

Perhaps Jessi should have refrained from naming her eldest son Montague. He had inherited his book counterpart's fiery hatred of all forms of opposition, including but not limited to sports teams and his brother. He took to mocking young Atticus at every given moment as a form of occupation, knowing that the kindly soul wouldn't raise a finger against him. His Evil treat was truly coming to fruition. At least in the latter case, inheriting the traits of his name's literary inspiration had done him well. Neither had inherited their father's trademark blue hair. Jessi was only slightly disappointed at this.

Even in the storm of insults, Atticus braved it through, taking the time his brother lambasted him to consider what book he should read next. He was glad to have a bed next to Alton, who had a habit of throwing books that he had finished underneath the young boy's bed. Whether or not this was simply coincidence or his way of reaching out to his half brother was a mystery, but sometimes, Atticus swore he could feel his half brother's smile boring the back of his head.

As much as she would enjoyed to, Jessi simply could not have napped for a minute past what was necessary. She had a house to clean and children to rear, and so groggily, she arose from the dead and climbed down the stairs. Crossing to the half kitchen, she was determined to finally clean out the ancient fridge - Neptune swore to her that something inside was starting to grow hands. But she never quite got there, a sight on the couch catching her off guard before a single toe could set foot in the tiled room.

"Hey Ma, guess who?" 

Jessi rubbed her eyes and decided to go back upstairs. Obviously, her beauty sleep hadn't quite done the trick. She couldn't hallucinate, not at a time like this! But as she dragged herself through the doorway, the girl was annoyingly insistent, calling back in an accent saturated with sea salt and New York.

"Hey, c'mon, get back here. You've gotta recognize me. Marine? Your flesh and blood?"

The sentence forced Jessi into a freeze. Eventually turning around to face the sailor-suit clad girl, she was unsure of whether to be shocked or overjoyed. "But you were supposed to..."

"Stay a child, I know. Carlos filled me in. Lotta science stuff that I didn't really listen to, a few promises, and a zap later from some strange device later, bam, I'm a teenager. Crazy, right?"

"Wait a second, device? Back it up there. What device?"

"Oops, wasn't supposed to tell you that bit. Ah, well, nothin' to be done now. What's he gonna do, turn me back?"

"Well," a voice drawled from the back, "Technically, he can."

Julian stepped out of the children's bedroom, trying to conceal a satisfied smirk but not quite succeeding. His pocket bulged with the weight of a tiny notebook. Carlos was nowhere in sight. "So he finally went and did it, hmm? Jessi." He suddenly spun and faced the object of his research, adopting a tone of concern. So forced was the change that Jessi felt herself vomit a little in her mouth. Marine quietly sulked away in search of her brother, not interested in what business was to proceed. 

"He tests your kids without permission, he interferes with your children's metabolism...I know that it's none of my business, but I cannot help but worry what that man will do next! You do realize how dangerous TestingCheats is, do you not? Or did he not have the courtesy to even explain to you what the project even is in full?"

"Well..." Jessi drawled. Something didn't feel quite right. "He did tell me that the project was in its beta stages, but that tests on animal subjects had succeeded."

"Right, on animals. Your daughter over there is the first human to ever be tested on. Carlos is equating your children to animal subjects."

"I don't think..." She sighed, adjusting her glasses. "Look, Julian, what Carlos did isn't right, and I'm not going to excuse it. The minute I find him, we're going to have a talk. But I know that his heart is in the right place. He cares about my children and, dare I say it, cares more about them than you seem to." Julian pretended to not hear the last bit. She smiled, turning around and motioning toward the living room. "See, now look over there."

It had taken him a minute to get over his initial shock - evidently, Jessi and the affected child were not the only members of the household given the news on Marine's condition - but Neptune finally accepted that the teenager in front of him was his sister. The two immediately launched into age-appropriate conversation, including new sketches for prank-pulling and plans to hijack an abandoned boat in the harbor, just for a day. Jessi concealed her reaction to the last bit and decided to have a conversation with the twins right after her conversation with Carlos, only focusing on the beauty of the moment. 

"Now, see, how could I hate that? He's fixing the family, Julian. Preventing their futures from being cut short. I couldn't be mad at that."

He smirked. "And I assume that knowing that he had to either bribe or steal his way to get a device to run these TestingCheats doesn't bother you?"

"It's a bit unsavory, but you can't argue with the results."

"Fair enough, fair enough."

The two gawked at one another in awkward silence for a minute. Jessi was self-consciously aware of her skimpy pajamas. 

"Well," Julian finally said, "I have some information that I simply must record. Be seeing you."

What a weird man. Jessi wished that she could kick him out while still keeping Carlos around. Speaking of the savory scientist, she decided to poke around the home for a bit until she could find him. Eventually, her search took her to the backyard, where she found the full grown man enjoying himself just as much as the children on the family swingset.

Obviously, she was not the only one who had not bothered changing out of their pajamas. It kind of made her feel better about herself.

"I wouldn't swing too hard, if I were you." Jessi grinned, waving over to him. "That thing's been around since I was a child here."

"Oh? Any bad falls?" He sounded genuinely interested.

"Once, when I was seven. It was a twisted ankle. It was a real close call, any worse of a fall and we would have had to call an ambulance. Which was a problem because, you know, paparazzi, tabloids, nosy scientists like you," she teased.

"Guess I better get off this thing, then, huh? It wasn't really made for a man of my age, anyway."

He stood in front of Jessi, all smiles. It made telling him off more difficult of a task than Jessi had wanted it to be. The man was too charming for his own good. Before she could open her mouth, Carlos raised a hand.

"Now, I know what you're about to say. And what I did was really crumby. Well, no, actually, that's a complete understatement. I was completely out of bounds aging up Marine with my TestingCheats device, especially since she's a minor. And if you want to kick me out of the house, I deserve it. I'm sorry."

She frowned, crossing her arms. "Sorry doesn't even begin to cover it, buddy. You promised me that you would ask me before testing any children that weren't teenage males, and you broke it multiple times." Carlos pouted, sure of what was coming next.

"However..." Jessi smiled.

"My kids are happy. Everything is starting to look like it might work out in the long run. And with your little device, well, maybe we can stop my kids from prematurely aging up, or the other way around. At least, that's my understanding from what you told me. It'll take a little while for me to fully trust you again, but honestly? At this point, I don't know if I could imagine this household without you."

"Wow, that's..." He stammered and stumbled, unsure of how to thank this Goddess of Forgiveness. "That's extremely kind of you. I don't even know how to repay you."

"Just keep taking care of my family. You do a lot more than Julian does."

He laughed. "Well, let's just say that Julian has his own...style. Say, do you know where he is? I need to look at his notes for something. If he even lets me."

"Upstairs recording information or something? That's what he told me anyway."

Suddenly, Carlos broke into loud, inappropriate laughter. Jessi nervously laughed along, not so sure what was so funny. "Do you want to know what he's probably, actually doing up in his room?"

Jessi cocked her head. "Uh, do I want to know?" She wasn't sure how appropriate the following story was going to be. At least none of the kids were around.

"Tattling."

"I'm confused."

"Oh, he's probably trying to get me fired right about now. Telling the professor how I bribed the scientists back at the lab to mail me the device. What a laugh!"

"Wait, what?" She had just finished telling him how important he was to the family! And now he ran the risk of being dismissed? "Why is that so funny?" she demanded.

"Because I already told the professor how I bribed the scientists back at the lab to mail me the device."

Well, he might be charming, but his sense of humor needed work. "And how did he react?"

"Oh, he's pretty angry. But once I told him this morning that it successfully worked in solving your little dilemma with Marine, paired with the fact that I discovered a brand new, scientific anomaly..."

Jessi didn't quite know how to react to her daughter being called an anomaly, and chose to not address it. "So you'll be sticking around?"

"Like glue!"

Gracious Goddess, he was a cutie. But she couldn't get any of those types of thoughts, not right now.

"Well, here's to your next set of children!" he cheered.

"Mm, you're right. I guess I'll need to find a father soon."

He looked at her, confused. "Uh, aren't you carrying your next set of children already?"

"What?" she said groggily. Extended conversation seemed to be taking its toll on her.

"Yeah, with that pink guy. Roger Candy, I think?"

Oh. Now she remembered. The guy who wouldn't stop yabbering about his mother in law. God, she needed a good rest.

"Well," she yawned, "thanks for the talk. I should probably get back to, er, working."

As she trailed off, Carlos smiled. Because among the early morning sun and the chirping birds, the angry yells of Julian Georges could be clearly heard.

Chapter Six - The Anti-Problem

Jessi had once told herself that she would never turn to this, no matter the circumstances. She was to use the phone and only the phone to summon men, never by other means. Certainly, she was never to take in a man on a whim. But he was just so handsome, a stark contrast to the grey pavement he was running on, she was just so lonely, and before she knew it, the blue haired jogger had snuck his way into the comfort of her bedroom for a different kind of exercise. They woohooed until she could almost feel the small kicks in her stomach.

She never asked for his name.

What was done was done. Jessi figured it couldn't have hurt to have broken another one of the family rules, as she was breaking so many already just by letting Carlos and Julian stay in the home, but she still couldn't help but feel guilty.

Even more embarrassing than her temporarily weak will was when Carlos, who was mulling around in the hallway, caught the obscure man on his way out. Jessi could hear their conversation through the paper thin walls, and a blush creeped across her cheeks. As if the day couldn't get more mortifying, Carlos had to know more about her intimate life.

Apparently, her mystery man was a top scientist at the local laboratory - Jessi reminded herself to never judge a book by its cover - and the two science nerds giggled like schoolgirls in the hallway, talking about the latest discoveries. Jessi had to admit, it killed the afterglow.

At least Carlos was able to convince the man to stay for a little personal testing. Maybe they were getting closer to the mystery of her rapidly aging babies.

Once again, Jessi retreated to her writing office in the glow of pregnancy, and the two men had the house to themselves. Julian took the opportunity to observe the children of the household, keeping true to his promise all the while - he never once interrupted their activities.

This wasn't to say that the kids weren't a little nervous around him, however. Julian's presence seemed to have a way of putting young ones on edge. So much so that Jessi swore that her children had aged up faster than normal as a result of the stress. These had to have been the quickest childhood days she had ever seen as a caregiver.

Unfortunately, just as Jessi had feared, Mars was the first among his brethren to age into a young man. Though his face hadn't changed, his towering height over his brothers and sisters was a giveaway to his status as Young Adult. Regretfully, Jessi was forced to send off her defunct son into the world. Carlos' promise to keep tabs on the man through semi-daily appointments did little to appease her. At least he had developed the Friendly trait, which would possibly balance his Insane and Grumpy tendencies.

Alton was hot on his half-brother's heels, aging into a formidable yet ever silent teenager. His retreats into solitude grew longer as his Genius trait forced him into long bouts with the question of existence and morality. Sometimes, Marine and Neptune forgot that they even had a brother.

And Neptune, while happy to have finally cast off the chains of childhood, found his celebration dampened by...well...

"Mom, when am I gonna age up?"

"Well..." Jessi scratched her head. Neptune, Alton, and Marine were all the same age. It was illogical that she hadn't become a teenager like the rest of them. "Maybe you're just a late bloomer, sweetheart."

Carlos tapped his foot lightly, a silent spectator. "May I speak with you in private, Jessi?"

They retreated into an upstairs bedroom, where Carlos invited her to sit on the bed. She felt strange having a man in her bedroom solely for the purpose of talking and not procreating, especially splayed on the bed in her pajamas. There truly was a first time for everything. And a last. She felt so uncomfortable that she hauled herself up and off of the bed, choosing to instead stare Carlos down. He gulped nervously.

"Now, you must promise not to get mad."

"Not the most promising first words there."

He nervously laughed. "But, uh, seriously."

"No promises."

"Fine, alright, that's fair. Well, a few weeks ago, I ran a few standard tests on the females of the household without your permission. Meaning only Marine, I guess. I don't really know why I said females..." He began to trail off, obviously flushed.

"I thought you said only the girls were at risk. Why would you break your pact with me?" Strangely, even when presented with the news that a stranger had preformed "standard test" on her young daughter, she was complacent. Something about Carlos filled her with a sense of calm. Come to think of it, when Julian and Carlos had found their way onto her doorstep, did she even ask for any proof that they really were who they said they were? Maybe Carlos' inherent charm did a little more to her than instill calm. She silently decided to heighten her senses from that point forward.

"Listen, this isn't a complaint about your parenting style or anything, but I can't help but notice that you tend to miss a few things about your kids. Namely, some more...physical aspects?"

Jessi tapped her fingers on the bedspread. "Go on."

"Marine's injuries. Ever see them?"

"What do you mean? Like, bruises?"

Carlos dug his fingers into his jean pockets. "Exactly. The standard bruise stays on the body from any point in time from two to four weeks. Marine, on the other hand, appears to have bruises that haven't healed since toddlerhood."

"What exactly are you getting at here? That can't be possible."

"And on a normal child, it isn't. But Marine isn't a normal child. With a gestation period of three days, it's not out of the ordinary that something won't develop correctly. My theory is that a recessive gene causing abnormalities in GH has surfaced in you. If something affecting the XY chromosomes in Delilah males can cause rapid growth, why can't something affecting both XX chromosomes in females cause slower growth in females?"

Jessi's head was spinning. She considered herself of a normal intelligence, but science wasn't exactly her forte. High school biology class was an artifact of the past. "What exactly is GH?"

"Growth Hormone. Most obviously involved in the process of growth and perhaps less obviously in the roles of healing injuries. When I tested Marine, not only was I face to face with some of the same bruises I noticed on her as a toddler-"

"You've been testing her since she was a toddler?"

"Well..."

"Just finish your thought. But no more surprise tests, okay?"

"That's fine, okay. Anyway, besides the bruises, I noticed an abysmally low amount of GH in her body. Frankly, I'm not sure how I couldn't have noticed it before. Unless, of course, it wasn't there before. That may explain why she aged around the same time as her siblings when they were younger."

"I think I'm starting to get it. When do you think she'll...?"

"Age up? See, that's the problem. I'm not sure when. And we have to talk about the psychological problems that'll come along with this..."

Psychology now? Jessi was regretting making Psych 101 her self administered study hall in high school.

Carlos cleared his throat, and continued. "I'm afraid that Mars is a child in an adult's body. It could be that he's simply Childish, of course, but I would like to keep an eye on future children and Marine to confirm or dash my suspicions. If it's still okay with you, yeah?"

"It's fine, but..."

Carlos reached out and rubbed the mother's arm, caressing her joints with the touch of a masseuse. Her arms were shockingly soft despite her hours of hard labor, and he felt a jolt of electricity grab at his heart. He wanted to retract but his mind would not let him.

"You're basically telling me that in doing this, my kids run the risk of being forever damaged."

"Well, I..." His words were lost to his train of thought, suspended in the air like an ungodly elephant in the room.

"Then what you're saying is..." She ran her fingers across her stomach, which had slightly enlarged in the time that the two had been talking. "You're saying that this tradition of the Delilah's should be ended immediately. And that my kids were right."

"Sorry, but I lost you on that last sentence, there."

"Lotus was right. This entire Delilah bloodline really is a way for Town Hall to fund luncheons and what not. It's impossible that not a single higher up hasn't heard of the condition affecting Delilah children, even if they do tend to make themselves hidden, especially if it's this well known in the science community. And I've certainly haven't heard anything about it before you two came to the house. Growing up, my mother just figured that any children who aged early were just going through a growth spurt. How her life might of changed had she known different! I can't continue to put my children under this misery."

"I...well, yeah. I hadn't thought about it that way." Had he really been so disconnected from what he thought was his life's work? These were real kids, not statistics!

Jessi once again sat on the bed, the information exhausting her. Her thoughts grew heavy on her mind, and sentiment stirred within her chest. "You know, I always had a dream that I would actually retell my ancestor's story. But in a more psychical sense. Actually rise up with, like, fifteen plus kids and take over town? Get a boat, sail somewhere different, start a new life."

"There's nothing stopping you," Carlos offered.

"I have children to take care of, give or take some unborn ones. I can't just up and leave. And besides, as much as I'm growing to hate the satisfaction the town takes out of it, I'd be lying if I said that I didn't enjoying having this many kids. But if having them dooms them to a miserable life, well..."

Carlos perked up his head, unsure if it was a good idea to say what was on his mind. Ignoring standard protocol, he coughed. "What if I said that it didn't have to?"

"I thought you said that your...place...didn't have a cure. Where exactly do you work again?"

"Science lab slash research facility. Julian's more of the field researcher, whereas I'm sort of a statistics processor. It's sort of complicated what our roles are at times. Anyway."

His look pierced through her, and the room grew cold. He was obviously apprehensive.

"It's called 'testing cheats'."

Chapter Five - Arrivals and Departures

Johnny couldn't take up residence in the Deliah household indefinitely, and in the cold, early morning, he made to leave. Sharing one last goodbye kiss with Jessi, he could have sworn that he felt a kick in her stomach. The motion made him feel sick, and he held back tears.

"My kids...they're going to be fine, right?"

"Trust me, I only give the best of care to my kids. They'll be okay."

Johnny sniffed. Jessi pretended to not noticed the vulnerability and instead smiled, waiting for him to look back into her eyes.

"Take care." he eventually stated, hands deep in his pockets.

Jessi grinned. "You too, Johnny."

With a final nod, Johnny was out the door, never to return. Watching him as long as she could until he rounded the corner in his clunker, whose loud wheezes and shakes convulsed the early morning dew, Jessi cracked her knuckles. It was her time to start writing a novel or two. She considered it to be one of her greatest de-stressers during a pregnancy, and besides, after her experiences last night, she had plenty of ideas to put onto paper. Money would still be an issue for a while - even with Julian's offer, he had agreed to only pay her in full at the end of his stay, to prevent Jessi from taking his money and then kicking him out. There was only so far his down payment of thirty thousand could stretch, especially in such an old, rickety house in need of so many repairs. Plus, there was the added burden of feeding the men, which would complicate matters for a while. At least Carlos' work was free, laboring in the name of science. Heading for the writing room, it suddenly occurred to her that perhaps said men upstairs would have been interested in interviewing the now long gone suitor. Ah, well. It was their fault for not waking up early.

When the men did eventually awaken, they rose to a mostly empty house. The teenagers off at school, the men found that there was no one to interview, what with Jessi busy and the suitor from last night vanishing into thin air - an event Julian entirely blamed Carlos for; why hadn't he kept a more careful eye on him? They were left to their own devices, and largely avoided one another. Carlos began reviewing the notes that he had taken on the Delilah family, the fruits of an extensive research; they had to be brought into consideration before he could even begin his testing. The day prior, Jessi had confided her worries about her son Mars in Carlos - apparently, the teenager had been a happy child a few hours before his arrival. Could he save him before it was too late?

Julian, on the other hand, contented himself with a game of chess and lounging around in bed. He had no need for silly research - he was a naturally born charismatic, and he was confident that once he got to interviewing, the secrets of the Delilah family would come pouring out. He might as well enjoy what little splendor the home had to offer in the meantime.

"Oh, Jimmy Sprocket," he laughed, slapping the back of the hardcover with the flat of his hand, "You never cease to entertain."

Sudden gasping from the downstairs forced his attention away from the book. He turned to ignore it, the yells were feminine in nature: Julian had just assumed that Carlos had found a mouse in the kitchen. But when the sounds failed to cease, he sighed, throwing the children's book onto his dresser and slowly making his way to the staircase.

Julian was almost correct; Carlos had found something, alright. In the kitchen, Jessi sunk to the ground and ground her teeth together painfully.

"D-don't worry about me," she moaned through gritted teeth. "I'll be fine." Why did she always go into labor in the kitchen? It couldn't have been hygienic.

Carlos, who had discovered Jessi before Julian, was currently panicking. This situation was entirely new to him - it didn't matter how many times he read about it, experiencing it for himself was something alien and strange.

He continued to wave his arms in a flurried panic as Julian stood, stoic to the situation.

"Oh my God, is there anything we can do to help?" Carlos asked, for what must have been the hundredth time. Julian cut through him - there were more important matters at hand.

"Miss Jessi? I have another deal for you."

"What, Julian? I'm kind of busy at the moment, if you haven't noticed." She tried pushing her way through the men toward the nursery, but Julian held her arm. If it hadn't been for his money, his sudden act of rudeness would have flung Jessi into an uncontrollable rage.

"Let me record a video of you giving birth on my cellphone, and I will triple my original amoun-"

"Shove your deal! There's a baby on the way!" Jessi yelled, another contraction rippling through her. The last thing she needed at the moment was to be under the stress of a camera lens! Pulling away from Julian, she crawled toward the nursery, past the bathroom where Lotus was dutifully working on repairing the toilet after coming home early. She had blossomed into quite a Handy individual.

"Need anything, Mom?" she asked casually.

"Nothing, sweetheart. Come visit in a few hours, see your new siblings. I think it's triplets."

"Sweet." Lotus replied, continuing to bang her hammer on the soft porcelain.

Jessi's prediction was right on the money. After a handful of painful contractions, she gave birth to two boys and one girl, all healthy upon delivery. She named her female Marine, and the boys Alton and Neptune. She was feeling a longing for the ocean lately - the pictures she had seen of it online made her wistful.

Realizing that the nursery only had two cribs, she went to the guest room to lay down Marine. As soon as she had shut the door, there was an instant knocking, and, assuming that it was Lotus, she opened it once more. Instead, Carlos stood in the doorframe. She laid a baby down in a crib and smiled at him.

"Congratulations," he said, hugging her, "They look beautiful."

"Oh, well, you know, I try my best."

Carlos laughed. "I, uh, can see that." What a sense of humor.

"There's two males, Carlos. Over the next few weeks, do you think you can monitor them for me?"

"Well, that's why I'm here! What did you name them?"

"The girl is Marine. As for the boys, Alton and Neptune. They're both in the other room. Alton is the fairskinned one, Neptune is the other. Well, obviously. You can go check up on them now, if you'd like."

Thus began his research. In the next few weeks, he partook in lengthy observations of the babies, monitoring their habits and, with Jessi's permission, their brainwaves, which involved tight caps hooked up to Carlos' laptop and an inappropriate amount of gel to keep said caps functioning. The babies didn't appreciate the process, and there was much crying throughout the house, driving everyone to their limits. Fortunately, they all aged up normally, and Carlos agreed that in light of this fact there would be no more need for heavy testing - much to the household's relief.

Marine and Neptune quickly formed a strong friendship. So inseparable were they that it was almost impossible to get the two in different rooms from one another, for then they would just cry and yell until seeing the other one again. Both had inherited their father's signature hair.

They often played at the block table together, gurgling in a language only the two of them could have understood. It was rather hard to drag them away from this activity, even to go to the bathroom. Potty training the two proved to be the biggest challenge Jessi every had to face.

Alton, on the other hand, largely stayed separate from his siblings to play on his own. He was even somewhat distant from his own mother, accepting of the food and drink she offered him but mostly keeping to himself. Jessi could have sworn he taught himself how to walk.

 For all of his abnormalities, he did exhibit the qualities of a child prodigy, and often contented himself with the xylophone, a toy his siblings wouldn't use, unless chewing on the sticks counted. All three aged quicker than the household expected, but that too was a normal aging up. The kids seemed unaffected, and Jessi could breathe a sigh of relief for now.

Neptune and Marine, mischievous little devils, would often play practical jokes on the rest of the household, whether it be silly things like filling the toilet bowl full of stale jelly beans (Lotus did not appreciate unclogging their joke, and on that day, the siblings quickly learned to fear their older sister) or simply pulling a disappearing act: ironically, the two had developed keen Angler traits, and it was not uncommon for Jessi to check their rooms at four AM in the morning just to found them gone, looking for the freshest catch. She supposed that there were no complaints for getting the free food, but it was terrifying, nonetheless, to have her children disappear on her, and she invested in some heavy-duty locks for their bedroom window.

Not much had changed with Alton. He would still spend long hours by himself, playing chess or reading books with large words in them. Coming downstairs only to go to school and to eat, it was hard for Jessi to not worry for him - she'd try communicating with him, only to be met with one word replies. "Yes." "Okay." "No."

What a strange child.

The growth of the new generation did come with some heartbreaking news. It would soon be time for the older sisters to move out of the home, their birthdays in just a few days. This was a fact that Petal enjoyed to bring up every once in a while, much to Lotus' chagrin. Her reminders came to a boiling point a mere day before their aging ups.

"We're aging up tomorrow, you know. There's no need to do homework, seeing as we won't be in school."

"I know."

"Then why are you doing it?"

"Stop reminding me."

Petal sighed at her sister's quick dismissal.  "Look, I know it's a painful topic, but we really need to plan our future."

"Our future? You mean, me and you?" Lotus stopped looking at her work and instead stared straight at her sister, shocked by the idea.

"Well, yeah. You think I'd just leave you after we age up?"

"Well...I guess not." Lotus admitted. "I guess I never really thought much about it. What did you have in mind?"

"It'll be great. Tough for a while, but great. We'll rent a small house, and I'll buy you an easel and some paint and work so you don't have to full time. I'll squirm my way through college and into some astrology lab. That job I took at the grocer and my scholarships are funding all of this. I've got it planned out."

"How long have you been thinking about this?"

Petal twiddled her thumbs. "Well, to be honest...ever since I was I kid. I thought it might make you, you know, like me. I always had included Axel in it, but...well, you know." There was an awkward silence. Lotus fiddled her thumbs.

"I'm still really sorry about that, you know."

"It's fine."

Soon, their birthday came and departed, leaving the sisters to stumble around in their newly adult bodies.

Lotus blossomed into an artistic young woman, who dreamed of having her fantastic artwork on display across the world.

Petal planned on taking a career in the science field, where she could finally be close to the stars she had relied on for comfort for so long.

The goodbyes exchanged were long and tearful, but none so more so than the one between the girls and Jessi, who would never again meet. Letting go of their bodies shattered Jessi's heart, who had to excuse herself to the bathroom a few minutes afterwards. Before their final departure, however, the nosy Julian insisted on an interview with the two sisters. Apprehensively, they agreed - something about the green skinned man skeeved them out, even if only slightly.

Leading them into his room and pulling out chairs to sit on, Julian quickly got to work, asking the sisters intrusive questions on their sexual orientation and the finer details of their upbringing. Lotus was rather flushed throughout the entire period, often turning her cheek to Julian in favor of her sister's face. It was a more welcoming sight. The questions become more and more focused on their mother as the session went on, to a questionable degree.

"Yeah, we help around the house a lot." Lotus replied to one of Julian's questions. "Mom gets busy a lot, you know? It's the least we can do."

Julian smiled sadly. "Busy, huh? With what, writing? Instead of taking care of her own children?"

Petal frowned, furrowing her eyebrows. "Are you attempting to go somewhere with that statement?"

Whatever percent of irritability that was present in his voice disappeared, and his charm reared its head once more. "Well, girls, I think we're done here. Have a great time out there."

With an unfinished painting still hanging in the easel and the telescope immobile, the house was unnaturally quiet.

Chapter Four - The Two Men

Even Axel's heartbreaking departure couldn't keep Jessi inactive for long. When her thumb fell on the phone number of Johnny Illinois, she knew it was high time to get back to work - moping didn't do her good.

When he stepped out of his car, Jessi was instantly intrigued. Johnny was a relatively good looking young man who smelled of old coffee beans and walked with a slight limp in his left leg.  His face was sculpted with the same softness of a budding teenager's, and he was adorned with the same glasses as Lotus. She wondered how old he was, but then again, maybe she didn't want to know, strictly for moral reasons. Despite her lingering doubts, the two instantly hit it off, so invested in one another from the moment he stepped out of his old junker that they soon forget that they were still standing outside, exposed to the elements and curious neighbors.

"I know that you must get this a lot, but man, am I a huge fan of your books," he smiled. Jessi's interest was piqued. No man had ever mentioned her literary classics, such as The Okay Gatsby and To Mock a Killing Bird. Something about his words seemed sincere. "They're so...flavorful. I'm rather into writing myself, you know."

He sighed, looking to the floor. "Unfortunately, I doubt I'll ever be quite as good as you." 

"As long as I'm here, maybe you could give me a little private lesson inside?" Johnny smiled, tilting his head softly. He wasn't exactly sure how this entire process went, and a little flirting couldn't have hurt, right?

Jessi, not one for catching onto hints, smiled. She was amazingly unflirtatious for someone of her livelihood."Yeah, sure! I'd love to teach a willing student." It was nice to finally meet someone appreciative of her skills. And while it wasn't quite what he had meant, Johnny appreciated the effort on her part, even if he was just a little disappointed. In fact, this entire ordeal was going better than he had expected - rumors had him believe that by now, he would be stripped of his pants and tied to her springbox.

He was almost right. Somehow, their trip to her writing den led them to the upstairs master bedroom, where one thing happily led to another.

Jessi was quite proud of her new lingerie, and even more proud to show it off.

After the third or so WooHooing session, Jessi felt no need to steal away to the bathroom in search for her stash of pregnancy tests, complements of Town Hall tax money. She already knew.

With Johnny softly snoring in the bed beside her and the warm breeze of the outside caressing her legs, it would have been a peaceful conclusion to the day's events if the doorbell hadn't rung just as she settled into bed. The clock beside her claimed that it was six o' clock AM. She was shocked at her lack of sleep - it seemed that Johnny had more of an effect on her than she'd care to admit.

Jessi's trip to the doorway stopped short as the sight of an unfamiliar shirtless man standing in her living room came into vision. Her hand reaching for the nearest blunt object, the stranger turned around at the sound of movement. It was then when she realized that said foreigner's eyes were unmistakable.

"Mars? Is that you?" she asked tentatively, inching toward her son. He had apparently aged up while she was upstairs with Johnny, and the fact pulled slightly at her heartstrings. What a terrible mother she was.

"Oh. Sorry, Mars. Mommy didn't recognize you." Wait, she couldn't talk like that to him anymore, he was a teenager. Jessi swiftly changed topics. "Why are you not wearing a shirt, sweetheart?"

"SHUT UP MOM IT'S CALLED EMO ROCK YOU WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND."

All prior feelings of guilt were evaporated within Jessi's heart. He was going to be one of those teenagers. Fantastic.

"Right, well. Was it you ringing the doorbell?"

"PUNK'S NOT DEAD MOM, GOD."

Apparently, as she was learning, the Grumpy and Insane traits were never meant to coincide. She ignored him, too tired to argue, and headed for the door. A little part of her hoped to open the door and see Axel standing there, waiting in the dusty morning glow.

What she instead witness was two men violently, verbally grappling on the front porch, their yells breaking what would have been a peaceful morning.

One of the two, wearing a heavy pair of glasses, took a deep breath. "I'm going to ask you again. Why do you keep lying to me, Julian? There's no way that the professor gave us the exact same assignment, and you know it. He's smart enough to know that we would have bickered endlessly like this." He ran a light hand through his hair, drumming his fingers on his hips. His counterpart sneered rudely, apparently not intending to answer his question.

"I'm sorry, can you give me a minute? I still can't get over this cruel joke that my professor just played on you. I mean, really, asking you to cover this? You can't even hold a pen right."

The other man reeled. "Jesus Christ, I'm just trying to resolve this before she comes out here. Look, I know that I'm not the absolute best researcher out there, but I really want you to treat me as your equal. Obviously, your professor sees something in me. For the sake of this project, c'mon."

"Can you please take a mint before getting that close to me? Better yet, can you just do us both a favor and not talk at all?" 

 "Oh my God, you're such a child! I can't work with such a..."

"Excuse me, gentlemen?" Jessi yawned, interrupting the conversation. She walked outside, confronting the two. "Can I help you two?"

The green skin man didn't waste a second when he pushed aside his companion with a flick of his wrist and kneeled on one knee at Jessi's feet. "Miss Jessi," he cooed politely, kissing her outstretched hand, "My name is Julian Georges. I have come a very far way to meet you."

Jessi pulled back her hand. Not another donor! "Look, I appreciate the effort, but if you're looking to become my suitor, I'm afraid you're too late..."

"Oh, no, no!" he laughed jubilantly. He had a clear, ringing laugh. Jessi noticed his partner couldn't keep from rolling his eyes. "You're a funny woman! No, I've come here to document you instead." His eyes twinkled at the word "document".

"Document?"

Julian stood up, straightening his bow tie. "I don't know if you know it, Miss Jessi, but you're big news across the world. Everyone who's anyone wants to read up on you! You and your ancestry have been at the center of many psychological studies across the globe, research papers, presentations, you name it, yet no one has been able to secure an interview with a Deliah for as long as you've been around. The mothers refuse to talk to any outsiders, your grown up children evade us - even if we can get any information as to who they are - and there's only so much the partners can say. We intend to end this today."

Jessi sighed. "Look, guys. There's a lot of people who come to my door with the same intention, and I just can't let you do this. I'm going to have young children in this house, and I don't want you distracting them with big fancy cameras and interviews and...well, anything, that's going to prevent them from living like normal kids. Plus, the tradition is pretty clear: there are no adults other than suitors and myself allowed in this home." Except, you know, for nosy baby daddies, but she didn't say anything about Hubert. Besides, that was different.

Julian's face become solemn. "Hold out your hand." he suddenly asked.

"What?"

"Please, just do it."

Jessi sighed and held out her hand to the green skinned man, expecting another kiss. Did he really think that a little courtesy was all it took to do her in? Men could be so one dimensional.

Reaching into his pocket, Julian slapped a wad of cash in her hand. "That's thirty thousand simoleons, cash." he said as Jessi thumbed through the stack, dumbfounded. "And there's much more where that came from if you let me live with you for a year."

His colleague abruptly entered from the sidewalk, where he had slunk off, phone in hand. "I just called the professor," he stated. "Apparently, we were assigned to the same job, Julian. Something about learning to get along and complementing one another? Looks like we'll just have to make the best of it."

Julian's faced turned sour, but suddenly aware of Jessi's presence, he forced a strained smile. Apparently, he didn't want to ruin any of his chances with the potential client. "Fantastic."

The other man approached Jessi and shook her hand. "Hi, I'm Carlos Veea. Scientist. I'm here to study the men of the Deliah household."

Jessi tilted her head, confused. "Why just the men?"

"Well, surely you know why. I want to be able to save them."

"Save them from what?"

Now it was Carlos' turn to be baffled. "You mean that you don't know?"

"Know what?"

He twiddled his fingers, suddenly interested in a ladybug that had skittered across his foot. Julian was silent, neutral to the conflict. "I just don't see how you can't know. Doesn't any family visit home every once in a while?"

"Can't. It's against the tradition." she answered curtly. It was a rather touchy subject.

"Oh. Uh, right." He adjusted his glasses. Man, how had he forgotten that crucial fact? The Delilah family was only his lifework. Now him and the subject of his research had immediately gotten off on the wrong foot.

"Look, uh, I don't know if I should be the one to tell you this, but...Well, the thing is, some of the Delilah men age at a bizarre rate. It's one of the few things we do know about your family. For whatever reason, this ailment never seems to affect the females of the family and only some of the males, but-"

"What do you mean, bizarre rate?" she interrupted. Panicking, her last son came immediately to mind - wasn't Mars just a five foot child a few hours ago? "You mean that this isn't how people are supposed to age?"

Carlos tapped his foot, unsure of how to answer. "Well, yes. I mean, no, as in, that's not how they're supposed to age. It doesn't work like that."

"Well, what can you do about it, then?"

"Me?" He sounded genuinely shocked, as if no one had asked anything of him before.

"Yeah, you. Can you prevent it in any way?"

"Well, uh, I'm not sure yet, but I can start doing some testing on your current children, and see where that takes us."

"And when can you start?" she asked, tapping on her belly. She knew that her consideration to let this scientist live in her home was against all of the rules, but then again, if this could save her children, well, she'd just have to do it.

Julian cleared his throat, interrupting her thoughts. "And me?"

Plus, Julian's money bonus was pretty attractive.

"I guess you can stay, too. But a few conditions."

Both were quiet, and she took their silence as the right to continue. "First off, you two are not to interact with anyone in the household under the age of a teenager unless they approach you first. No interviews, no photography, nothing. And my teenagers must be willing to give either of you interviews, the only exception being, for Carlos only, my boys. It's for their health, after all."

"Understandable." Carlos nodded.

"Second of all, no matter how much stress it seems I'm under, you two are not to interfere with the caretaking process. Don't make dinner for my kids, don't clean their rooms, don't do anything for them unless they're, god forbid, in some sort of physical danger. Call it paranoia, but it's a popular old wives tale in my family that when someone other than a Delilah raises our children, it will only bring bad luck to the household. It's another reason, besides the obvious, as to why we don't marry."

Julian took a notepad out of his left pocket and started scribbling.

"And lastly? If you do anything to harass my children, I have the right to kick you out of my home. Deal?"

The two looked at one another briefly, then turned back. "You have a deal, Miss Delilah." Carlos smiled.

"Oh, call me Jessi." She beckoned the two into the house with a flourish of her hand. "I have rooms for you upstairs."

They walked past a sleeping Johnny, who had apparently tried to follow Jessi downstairs before passing out on the couch.

"Oh, is that one of your sons?" asked Carlos. Jessi blushed a deep red.

"Uh, no, that's my last suitor."

"...oh. Sorry." Carlos felt embarrassed while Julian snickered very softly.

Carlos couldn't help but notice that his room felt rather...lived in.

"Oh, this used to be my son Axel's room. Feel free to move some things around, if you need to."

"I know that it's a little intrusive of me to ask, but do you ever miss them? The kids that leave."

"Well, I've only had one so far leave, and I admit that it rattled me a bit, but you've got to let them live their life, you know? I think I raised him well enough to survive in the world."

"He didn't...you know. Age too quickly?"

"He aged at the same time as his sisters, if that's what you mean."

"Well, if it's any comfort, then he should be fine."

"Thanks." she smiled softly. It had been a short conversation, but already, Carlos seemed to be a very kind man.

Meanwhile, in the next room over, Julian gussied himself up in the large mirror. He was liking this house already.

The next day would start the men's work.