Chapter Four - The Two Men

Even Axel's heartbreaking departure couldn't keep Jessi inactive for long. When her thumb fell on the phone number of Johnny Illinois, she knew it was high time to get back to work - moping didn't do her good.

When he stepped out of his car, Jessi was instantly intrigued. Johnny was a relatively good looking young man who smelled of old coffee beans and walked with a slight limp in his left leg.  His face was sculpted with the same softness of a budding teenager's, and he was adorned with the same glasses as Lotus. She wondered how old he was, but then again, maybe she didn't want to know, strictly for moral reasons. Despite her lingering doubts, the two instantly hit it off, so invested in one another from the moment he stepped out of his old junker that they soon forget that they were still standing outside, exposed to the elements and curious neighbors.

"I know that you must get this a lot, but man, am I a huge fan of your books," he smiled. Jessi's interest was piqued. No man had ever mentioned her literary classics, such as The Okay Gatsby and To Mock a Killing Bird. Something about his words seemed sincere. "They're so...flavorful. I'm rather into writing myself, you know."

He sighed, looking to the floor. "Unfortunately, I doubt I'll ever be quite as good as you." 

"As long as I'm here, maybe you could give me a little private lesson inside?" Johnny smiled, tilting his head softly. He wasn't exactly sure how this entire process went, and a little flirting couldn't have hurt, right?

Jessi, not one for catching onto hints, smiled. She was amazingly unflirtatious for someone of her livelihood."Yeah, sure! I'd love to teach a willing student." It was nice to finally meet someone appreciative of her skills. And while it wasn't quite what he had meant, Johnny appreciated the effort on her part, even if he was just a little disappointed. In fact, this entire ordeal was going better than he had expected - rumors had him believe that by now, he would be stripped of his pants and tied to her springbox.

He was almost right. Somehow, their trip to her writing den led them to the upstairs master bedroom, where one thing happily led to another.

Jessi was quite proud of her new lingerie, and even more proud to show it off.

After the third or so WooHooing session, Jessi felt no need to steal away to the bathroom in search for her stash of pregnancy tests, complements of Town Hall tax money. She already knew.

With Johnny softly snoring in the bed beside her and the warm breeze of the outside caressing her legs, it would have been a peaceful conclusion to the day's events if the doorbell hadn't rung just as she settled into bed. The clock beside her claimed that it was six o' clock AM. She was shocked at her lack of sleep - it seemed that Johnny had more of an effect on her than she'd care to admit.

Jessi's trip to the doorway stopped short as the sight of an unfamiliar shirtless man standing in her living room came into vision. Her hand reaching for the nearest blunt object, the stranger turned around at the sound of movement. It was then when she realized that said foreigner's eyes were unmistakable.

"Mars? Is that you?" she asked tentatively, inching toward her son. He had apparently aged up while she was upstairs with Johnny, and the fact pulled slightly at her heartstrings. What a terrible mother she was.

"Oh. Sorry, Mars. Mommy didn't recognize you." Wait, she couldn't talk like that to him anymore, he was a teenager. Jessi swiftly changed topics. "Why are you not wearing a shirt, sweetheart?"

"SHUT UP MOM IT'S CALLED EMO ROCK YOU WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND."

All prior feelings of guilt were evaporated within Jessi's heart. He was going to be one of those teenagers. Fantastic.

"Right, well. Was it you ringing the doorbell?"

"PUNK'S NOT DEAD MOM, GOD."

Apparently, as she was learning, the Grumpy and Insane traits were never meant to coincide. She ignored him, too tired to argue, and headed for the door. A little part of her hoped to open the door and see Axel standing there, waiting in the dusty morning glow.

What she instead witness was two men violently, verbally grappling on the front porch, their yells breaking what would have been a peaceful morning.

One of the two, wearing a heavy pair of glasses, took a deep breath. "I'm going to ask you again. Why do you keep lying to me, Julian? There's no way that the professor gave us the exact same assignment, and you know it. He's smart enough to know that we would have bickered endlessly like this." He ran a light hand through his hair, drumming his fingers on his hips. His counterpart sneered rudely, apparently not intending to answer his question.

"I'm sorry, can you give me a minute? I still can't get over this cruel joke that my professor just played on you. I mean, really, asking you to cover this? You can't even hold a pen right."

The other man reeled. "Jesus Christ, I'm just trying to resolve this before she comes out here. Look, I know that I'm not the absolute best researcher out there, but I really want you to treat me as your equal. Obviously, your professor sees something in me. For the sake of this project, c'mon."

"Can you please take a mint before getting that close to me? Better yet, can you just do us both a favor and not talk at all?" 

 "Oh my God, you're such a child! I can't work with such a..."

"Excuse me, gentlemen?" Jessi yawned, interrupting the conversation. She walked outside, confronting the two. "Can I help you two?"

The green skin man didn't waste a second when he pushed aside his companion with a flick of his wrist and kneeled on one knee at Jessi's feet. "Miss Jessi," he cooed politely, kissing her outstretched hand, "My name is Julian Georges. I have come a very far way to meet you."

Jessi pulled back her hand. Not another donor! "Look, I appreciate the effort, but if you're looking to become my suitor, I'm afraid you're too late..."

"Oh, no, no!" he laughed jubilantly. He had a clear, ringing laugh. Jessi noticed his partner couldn't keep from rolling his eyes. "You're a funny woman! No, I've come here to document you instead." His eyes twinkled at the word "document".

"Document?"

Julian stood up, straightening his bow tie. "I don't know if you know it, Miss Jessi, but you're big news across the world. Everyone who's anyone wants to read up on you! You and your ancestry have been at the center of many psychological studies across the globe, research papers, presentations, you name it, yet no one has been able to secure an interview with a Deliah for as long as you've been around. The mothers refuse to talk to any outsiders, your grown up children evade us - even if we can get any information as to who they are - and there's only so much the partners can say. We intend to end this today."

Jessi sighed. "Look, guys. There's a lot of people who come to my door with the same intention, and I just can't let you do this. I'm going to have young children in this house, and I don't want you distracting them with big fancy cameras and interviews and...well, anything, that's going to prevent them from living like normal kids. Plus, the tradition is pretty clear: there are no adults other than suitors and myself allowed in this home." Except, you know, for nosy baby daddies, but she didn't say anything about Hubert. Besides, that was different.

Julian's face become solemn. "Hold out your hand." he suddenly asked.

"What?"

"Please, just do it."

Jessi sighed and held out her hand to the green skinned man, expecting another kiss. Did he really think that a little courtesy was all it took to do her in? Men could be so one dimensional.

Reaching into his pocket, Julian slapped a wad of cash in her hand. "That's thirty thousand simoleons, cash." he said as Jessi thumbed through the stack, dumbfounded. "And there's much more where that came from if you let me live with you for a year."

His colleague abruptly entered from the sidewalk, where he had slunk off, phone in hand. "I just called the professor," he stated. "Apparently, we were assigned to the same job, Julian. Something about learning to get along and complementing one another? Looks like we'll just have to make the best of it."

Julian's faced turned sour, but suddenly aware of Jessi's presence, he forced a strained smile. Apparently, he didn't want to ruin any of his chances with the potential client. "Fantastic."

The other man approached Jessi and shook her hand. "Hi, I'm Carlos Veea. Scientist. I'm here to study the men of the Deliah household."

Jessi tilted her head, confused. "Why just the men?"

"Well, surely you know why. I want to be able to save them."

"Save them from what?"

Now it was Carlos' turn to be baffled. "You mean that you don't know?"

"Know what?"

He twiddled his fingers, suddenly interested in a ladybug that had skittered across his foot. Julian was silent, neutral to the conflict. "I just don't see how you can't know. Doesn't any family visit home every once in a while?"

"Can't. It's against the tradition." she answered curtly. It was a rather touchy subject.

"Oh. Uh, right." He adjusted his glasses. Man, how had he forgotten that crucial fact? The Delilah family was only his lifework. Now him and the subject of his research had immediately gotten off on the wrong foot.

"Look, uh, I don't know if I should be the one to tell you this, but...Well, the thing is, some of the Delilah men age at a bizarre rate. It's one of the few things we do know about your family. For whatever reason, this ailment never seems to affect the females of the family and only some of the males, but-"

"What do you mean, bizarre rate?" she interrupted. Panicking, her last son came immediately to mind - wasn't Mars just a five foot child a few hours ago? "You mean that this isn't how people are supposed to age?"

Carlos tapped his foot, unsure of how to answer. "Well, yes. I mean, no, as in, that's not how they're supposed to age. It doesn't work like that."

"Well, what can you do about it, then?"

"Me?" He sounded genuinely shocked, as if no one had asked anything of him before.

"Yeah, you. Can you prevent it in any way?"

"Well, uh, I'm not sure yet, but I can start doing some testing on your current children, and see where that takes us."

"And when can you start?" she asked, tapping on her belly. She knew that her consideration to let this scientist live in her home was against all of the rules, but then again, if this could save her children, well, she'd just have to do it.

Julian cleared his throat, interrupting her thoughts. "And me?"

Plus, Julian's money bonus was pretty attractive.

"I guess you can stay, too. But a few conditions."

Both were quiet, and she took their silence as the right to continue. "First off, you two are not to interact with anyone in the household under the age of a teenager unless they approach you first. No interviews, no photography, nothing. And my teenagers must be willing to give either of you interviews, the only exception being, for Carlos only, my boys. It's for their health, after all."

"Understandable." Carlos nodded.

"Second of all, no matter how much stress it seems I'm under, you two are not to interfere with the caretaking process. Don't make dinner for my kids, don't clean their rooms, don't do anything for them unless they're, god forbid, in some sort of physical danger. Call it paranoia, but it's a popular old wives tale in my family that when someone other than a Delilah raises our children, it will only bring bad luck to the household. It's another reason, besides the obvious, as to why we don't marry."

Julian took a notepad out of his left pocket and started scribbling.

"And lastly? If you do anything to harass my children, I have the right to kick you out of my home. Deal?"

The two looked at one another briefly, then turned back. "You have a deal, Miss Delilah." Carlos smiled.

"Oh, call me Jessi." She beckoned the two into the house with a flourish of her hand. "I have rooms for you upstairs."

They walked past a sleeping Johnny, who had apparently tried to follow Jessi downstairs before passing out on the couch.

"Oh, is that one of your sons?" asked Carlos. Jessi blushed a deep red.

"Uh, no, that's my last suitor."

"...oh. Sorry." Carlos felt embarrassed while Julian snickered very softly.

Carlos couldn't help but notice that his room felt rather...lived in.

"Oh, this used to be my son Axel's room. Feel free to move some things around, if you need to."

"I know that it's a little intrusive of me to ask, but do you ever miss them? The kids that leave."

"Well, I've only had one so far leave, and I admit that it rattled me a bit, but you've got to let them live their life, you know? I think I raised him well enough to survive in the world."

"He didn't...you know. Age too quickly?"

"He aged at the same time as his sisters, if that's what you mean."

"Well, if it's any comfort, then he should be fine."

"Thanks." she smiled softly. It had been a short conversation, but already, Carlos seemed to be a very kind man.

Meanwhile, in the next room over, Julian gussied himself up in the large mirror. He was liking this house already.

The next day would start the men's work.